Starting Over

I know it’s not recommended to take a month off from blogging, but that’s exactly what I did. Life has changed drastically since I posted last. My husband decided he was better off without me and I now find myself in the middle of a divorce. I was happy before this, I’m looking forward to when I will be that way again. This isn’t a post on how horrible my life is but rather how a major upset can affect someone with Bipolar.

I find myself starting over. New place, job, people… That’s a lot to face at one time and I find myself at the edge of a cliff not wanting to make the jump. Decisions need to be made, but I’m not making them. The mental and emotional coping skills I’ve acquired with my illness have possibly helped me and then again maybe they’re hindering me. I file things away in my mind and don’t pull them out unless I have no other choice. This in a sense protects me from the stress associated with different things but it also prolongs the healing process.  Nevertheless, that is the approach I’m currently taking. If I am to function on a day-to-day basis I can’t beat everything to death in my mind.

I will continue to write. It’s great therapy and as much as I don’t like to admit it, I need that. My posts will probably reflect this starting over process. There’s no guide for being Bipolar and going through a stressful major life change. So some posts will center on that and how successfully or unsuccessfully I manage to handle this.  I promise not to lose the original focus that I started this blog with. Now, I just have a lot of added material that shakes Bipolar to the core. Bear with me…

12 responses to “Starting Over

  • For Better or Bipolar

    I added your blog to my reader some time ago when I found it in the midst of my own struggles with a bipolar husband. I’ve never commented but I wanted to thank you for offering incites and understanding that I never could have had in order to help me both fight for our marriage and his sanity and WANT to fight for our marriage and his sanity. I know I can’t cure him and it’s largely always going to be up to him to be more than his bipolar but the things you have shared here have helped me to at least so much more helpful than hurtful. Thank you so much. All the best in this next phase of your life.

  • Chad McCool

    Hang in there. I am standing at the end of that cliff too. The new job, new place, new life is something I am going through, but I romanticized a lot of it and it is not necessarily helping me and my being bipolar. Just take the time and breathe through it an d keep writing.

  • lindseypresnell

    Hang in there, girl. I know how those major upsets can really shake me to my core, living with Bipolar Disorder. But I try not to let them ruin the progress that I have made. God bless. You are in my prayers.

  • ManicMuses

    Sending you lots of love & strength. Bipolar doesn’t have to be a hindrance when coping with major life changes. It can also give the strength & fortitude necessary to see it all through. Find your support group, stick with your therapy and keep writing. We’re all here if you need us!

  • Lesli

    I’m so sorry to hear about your divorce and all the changes in your life. I’ve been thinking of you lately since I haven’t seen any messages of new blog posts. Hopefully writing your blog will help you cope some with your feelings. I know there are lots of people who can relate and who can benefit from your insight.

    • acrazybeautifulmind

      It’s nice to be thought of. I really have missed blogging but I just couldnt wrap my brain around doing it there for a while, I don’t know what insight I have to give but hopefully people will learn not to make the same stumble I do. Thanks for checkin in!

  • Shelly

    First of all, I’m adding you to my prayer list. I’m sorry that this is happening in your life. What you thought was, is no longer. All the shared hopes and dreams are dashed. We with bipolar are so much stronger than we give ourselves credit for. I know that you will get through this time…it’s just so hard. I hope that you have a therapist that you can talk to. I trust that you are using the tools that you know to help get back some stability. Keep in contact with your psychiatrist and honestly tell him what’s going on with your moods. Grief is hard enough on regular folks. It is really tough on those of us who can swing from one pole to the other and feel things so very deeply. My only word of advice is to go THROUGH this. Don’t stuff or compartmentalize or push it away. You have lots of us hear that read your blog that are holding you up.
    God Bless.

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